


If I Cannot Endure This...

by Ophiel



Series: The Dalish Curse [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tabletop Gaming, Battle, Curses, Dalish Elves, Demonic Possession, Envy Demons (Dragon Age), F/M, Graphic Description of Corpses, Mages and Templars, Magic-Users, Magical Realism, Romance, Temptation, Therinfal Redoubt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 13:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4962091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ophiel/pseuds/Ophiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn and Cullen battle at the gates of the Elven Keep, their minds tainted and taunted by whispers from the beyond. Evelyn will do everything in her power to keep Cullen safe, even if it means embracing the monster that Envy revealed her to be. Also, they get to ride hallas, which is always a good thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Cannot Endure This...

**Author's Note:**

> This story references events from Envy: (http://archiveofourown.org/works/4896391), where Evelyn experienced her own personal hell at the hands of the Envy Demon. She has been forever scarred by the experience, knowing that Envy was not totally wrong about her.

Dog bounded through the forest as the sun was rising, its powerful muscles flexing and bunching under its skin, its tongue hanging out of its mouth as it grinned stupidly. “Maybe you should train him to at least try to look fierce,” Evelyn said, running with Cullen as they followed after the tracking hound.

 

“Function over form, Eve,” Cullen pointed out, breathing hard as he ran in his armour. Their feet pounded on the damp earth and moss of the forest floor until the path straightened out before them. “Hear that?” Cullen said, glancing at his feet.

 

Evelyn heard the change in the sound of their footfalls as well. The sound was not so hollow, it was the sound of flagstones under forest detritus. She nodded. “We must be near the ruin,” she said. Dog stopped and barked happily. “Quiet!” Evelyn snapped at the mabari, who turned and gave her a slobbering lick across the face. “Blasted- swine!” she growled, pushing the dog away, wiping her face.

 

Cullen paused near a tree. Evelyn was swearing under her breath. “Such language,” he noted mildly as he leaned against the tree trunk.

 

“I have dog spit in my hair, Cullen,” she grumbled, looking around the trunk. She pushed sodden locks of her off her face.

 

“I’ll help you braid it again later,” he whispered. There was a clearing beyond the tree. It must have been part of a wide plaza in the past, but now greatly decayed. Tree roots had buckled the ancient flagstones. Vines hung from the towering trees that arched their branches across the great space below. The winds had blown dead leaves into mounds among the broken flagstones and they piled up, filling the air with their gentle, damp scent. Dog was standing by Cullen’s legs, looking out with wide excited eyes. Evelyn began to seriously doubt the alleged intelligence of the Ferelden mabari at this point.

 

“What’s your read, Commander?” she asked.

 

“Possible traps, ambushes from the trees, abominations,” he said.

 

“Sounds fun, let’s go.” She stepped out from behind the trunk and headed off.

 

“Are you always like this on your adventures?” he asked her, his hand close to his sword as he followed her. “Charge in, spells blazing, ask questions later?” Dog padded along after him.

 

“That’s why they call it an adventure, love,” Evelyn murmured, her eyes intent on her surroundings. She shut her eyes, feeling the air around her. “The Veil is thin here,” she said softly, feeling words on the edge of hearing. “You can feel it. Something once slumbered here.”

 

Cullen stopped, blinking in puzzlement. Then he frowned, his eyes hard. Dog began to growl as it lowered its posture, the hackles on the back of its neck rising with its growl. “There’s a demon here,” his voice was tight as he spoke. His sword made a steely hiss as he drew it. Evelyn looked at him and frowned, seeing the expression on his face. “It’s speaking.”

 

She reached up to touch his cheek reassuringly, not saying a word. Then she turned and drew her spectral blade hilt from her belt.

 

“Inquisitor,” the words came to her mind, though she would swear her ears did not hear them. It was a voice that spoke through broken lungs and shattered teeth. It rasped across the mind like a filthy touch. “How unexpected…”

 

Evelyn said nothing in response, merely drawing her blade, glowing green in the morning light. Cullen took point, his shield ready and blade drawn as Dog stalked at his side. They approached a curtain of vines at the other end of the plaza, beyond which was the dark mouth of what looked like a cave, shrouded in vines and moss.

 

“How strange to see you, Inquisitor,” the voice spoke to her mind. “Your blessed mark stolen from you and yet you burn like a comet in the Fade. Both of you are known to us...”

 

Shut up, she snarled in her mind, her blade held low.

 

“Both of you have been touched by us, both came so close to being us. He longed for another, tempted and reviled for his lust for another mage.” The voice changed to Cullen’s in her mind, “Another vision? The one thing I want but cannot have…” Evelyn felt her heart grow laden. The voice continued to speak to her, “Such anger he bore, burning like a pyre-” Cullen’s voice cut into her mind once more, “-kill them all for what they did, they are not like you and me, mages don’t deserve to live!”

 

Shut. Up.

 

“And you… You long for power you can no longer have, power Fen’Harel stripped from you. How great you could have been. Envy was not wrong about you, Inquisitor… One small step and you could have made the world bow beneath your feet - Orlais, Ferelden, even the Qunari beneath the might of the Inquisition.”

 

Evelyn grit her teeth. The sweat on Cullen’s brow showed that she was not alone in hearing this voice, she was not the only one taunted from beyond.

 

There was a snapping of wood in front of them and to the sides, mounds of piled dead leaves began to move. Bones snapped together as they rose from the breaking tree roots, twisted and writhing, glowing with green Fade fire. They were bones of ancient elves, their armour rusted and broken, weapons of such excellent make that they survived till this day.

 

Before them, rose another. This one bearing a large ornate shield. Its robes were still intact, two pinpoints of light flaring from the depths of a deep helm with two ornate elven ears rising from it. It pulled a massive sword from the ground, standing up with its aid. A Revenant.

 

“Come, Inquisitor,” the voice scraped across her skull. “Come, let me give you back your power. Let me in.”

 

The sound of arrows flying buzzed in the air around her as Evelyn fired off a blast of energy from her mind all around her. Arrows shattered in mid air as Cullen charged forward to the Revenant. Their shields came together with tremendous force, Cullen’s body flashing green as Evelyn raised her barriers. The Revenant slashed at Cullen, who parried the blow. He flowed with the parry, ducking down, slamming the edge of this shield to the Revenant’s knee. The bone smashed under the impact, but the demon still continued to stand, cutting at him with stiff strikes in its new mortal form.

 

At the edge of the plaza, bones shattered to the ground as Evelyn cut down an archer’s corpse as Dog charged at another, slamming the corpse to the ground and destroying bones with its powerful jaws. The other corpses drew their bows, aiming at her. She ran straight at them, arrow striking her but bouncing off into the trees, her barrier flaring with each strike. She cut down another corpse, its head shattering under her spectral blade. She fired another blast of energy at the last archer’s corpse. It shuddered from the blow, its arrow shattering. Dog slammed into the corpse, terrible growls filling the air.

 

There was the sound of tumbling armour. Evelyn saw Cullen slammed up against a broken pillar and fall painfully, ten feet away from the Revenant. Blood flowed from a cut on his forehead. The Revenant was sticking its massive sword into the ground where it stood. It reached out a skeletal hand to her and closed its hand into a fist.

 

Evelyn’s feet slipped from under her, her head hitting the flagstones. She was dragged across the stones, her legs caught in a grip she could not see. The Revenant took the hilt of its sword and raised it as she came to a stop at its feet. Her leg kicked out at its knee hit by Cullen’s shield and she heard a satisfying crack of bone. The Revenant sank to the ground onto one knee and cut down at her.

 

Her barrier broke with the blow that knocked the wind out of her, pain searing her side. Her leg was still trapped by the Revenant’s grip. She saw Cullen’s strike the Revenant’s side with his blade. The Revenant blocked the blow with a shield bash. Cullen cried out when an arrow from the last archer grazed him in the thigh. The Revenant stabbed at Cullen. She saw him turn his blade to parry, but could not wait.

 

Evelyn knocked Cullen away from the Revenant with a force from her mind. Cullen staggered back on the flagstones eight feet away, the blade just missing him.

 

The Revenant turned to her, reaching out with a hungry hand. “Then let me kill you first,” the voice cried through dead lips. “I will ride your Templar into the depths of his own madness.”

 

Skeletal fingers closed around her neck. Rage rose within her, flaring like a thousand suns. The demon would die. She focused all of her will as the fingers choked her. She heard Cullen running back to the fray. She screamed, guttural, primal, a scream from the depths of darkness where fury burned.

 

Lightning flared from her spectral blade, striking down at the Revenant. It released its grip on her neck and writhed, arching backwards as it screamed. Evelyn stood up, unrelenting, letting everything in her flow into the spell as she willed the lightning flare hotter from the tip of her incandescent sword. It burned the air and seared the eyes to look at.

 

“You will die first!” she snarled, her knuckles white on the sword hilt, lightning arcing from the spell and shattering the last undead archer.

 

“And so you will be ours!” the Revenant gloated as it twisted in her spell. “Envy came so close- Vengence, vengence and fire for all who hurt you-”

 

“Evelyn,” she heard, the voice cutting through the demon’s gloating. She felt an arm slip around her waist from behind. She heard Cullen’s voice in her ear. “Evelyn.”

 

The spell faded grudgingly. The Revenant froze as the spell faded, a scorched figure of bone. Cullen’s arm slipped from her waist as she stood there breathing heavily, the red mists of fury fading from her mind. Cullen walked forward calmly to the still statue. With a grunt, he smashed his shield into the scorched bones, shattering them. The Revenant fell to the ground in a cloud of dust.

 

Evelyn looked up at him as he turned to her, her eyes filled with fury and fear. She grasped her hilt to her chest as she fought to catch her breath.

 

Cullen stood in front of her, so close she could smell him - leather, sweat, metal, blood… “It said it wanted you,” Cullen breathed.

 

“It said it wanted you,” Evelyn replied through clenched teeth. “The one thing I want but cannot have, they are not like you and me… I will ride him to his own madness.”

 

Cullen paled at those words. He shut his eyes, wiping the blood from his brow. “Once more, more pain, this time,” he breathed. Evelyn felt her spine chill as Envy’s words left Cullen’s lips. “You don’t know how worthy you are. A monster pretending to be just.”

 

She looked up at him, her heart in her eyes. “So you know now,” she whispered. “My nightmare in Therinfal.”

 

“As do you mine,” he murmured. “I regret the man I became.”

 

She lowered her eyes. “And I fear the woman I might be,” she admitted.

 

He embraced her. “But you have not become her,” he breathed into her hair. “Nor will I let you.”

 

She grit her teeth as she held him close. “If I become worse,” she breathed. “If I cannot endure this-”

 

“You can.”

 

She couldn’t help but chuckle as she realized where those words came from. She looked up at him. He would pull her from the brink. He always had, just as she had brought him out of darkness. They would hold on to each other against the tempest, knowing that letting go would mean losing themselves as much as one other. Her hand caressed his face and she kissed him  her hand glowing as it healed the wound on his head. The blood flow ceased and the cut visibly closed under the light of her magic.

 

Dog limped up to them, whining with shards of bone embedded in its leg and muzzle. Evelyn felt a pang of pity.

 

“Can you see to him?” Cullen asked, looking at the entrance to the cave as he pulled out a healing elixir from a belt pouch and drank it.

 

Evelyn took a deep breath and knelt down in front of the dog. “Be careful,” she murmured to Cullen, who nodded and went inside with his sword raised and his shield at the ready. Evelyn removed the shards from Dog’s muzzle and lips as the mabari whined piteously. She then healed the wounds on its muzzle. Dog licked her glowing hand. Evelyn sighed, scratching the dog behind the ear. “Silly thing,” she said.

 

It took some healing magic and an elixir for Dog to be up and about again. She stood up as the mabari pranced about. She sighed as it shook itself with fervour, its ears flapping against its face. “Stupid mutt,” she muttered and turned to the entrance of the keep.

 

Ancient door hinges hung from the stone, wood rotten away and littering the floor, crumbling underfoot. She drew her hilt as she walked on past ancient stone walls beneath a high vaulted ceiling. “Cullen?” she called, her voice echoing back from the darkness. Dog followed her, sniffing. “Find our most favourite man in the world, Dog,” she commanded.

 

Dog’s ears perked up and he trotted off down the straight hall, then turned around a corner. Evelyn followed him. There were stairs that descended to the lower reaches of the keep. There was light down there, the glow of torches. There were voices as well, voices calling out in Elvhen and Kings Tongue. Evelyn walked down the stairs after Dog and rounded the corner. Cullen was running his hands along the stone wall by a door. The room he was in was circular and lit by torches that hung from rings on the walls. There were tables here, and bedrolls that had been shredded at some time. Old bookshelves lined the walls, the books long succumbed to the elements.

 

“What’s wrong with the door?” she asked. The voices were clearer here, shouting for help.

 

“It’s locked.”

 

“Have you been stuck at the door this whole time?” Evelyn asked.

 

“I am no thief,” Cullen said, his cheeks mottling a bit.

 

She forced herself not to smile. She was quite proud of the fact that she didn’t. “Help me find a place where the mortar’s loose,” he said, sounding slightly testy. “I’ll make a new door.”

 

“Yes, dear,” Evelyn replied mildly.

 

In the end, it took Dog to find the small wisps of air through crumbling mortar, as the mabari started scratching at a section of wall, spraying bits of mortar from under its claws. “Not such a useless beast, after all,” Evelyn said. Dog barked happily. “Still not too bright, though.”

 

Cullen moved Dog out of the way and levelled a kick at the wall. The ancient stones buckled from the impact. A second kick sent the stones crumbling inwards entirely. The shouting grew from within. “Help us!” Cullen stepped in through the hole with Evelyn and Dog following close behind him. It was a dungeon within, an aisle lined with cells filled with hands grasping out at them, voices calling for help, pleading to be let out.

 

“Shit,” Evelyn said, looking at the heavy, ancient locks on the cell doors. “We may need more holes in the wall.”

 

“The keys are in the lockbox,” said an elderly Dalish woman with faded vallaslin, pointing to a small ornate box against the wall.

 

They unlocked the cells one by one, Dalish holding their hands with words of thanks and tears of joy. “What of the guards?” asked the old woman said.

 

“Guards?” Evelyn asked as she unlocked the old woman’s door.

 

“The demons Mythallen left here.”

 

“They’re dead,” Cullen said firmly.

 

“Are you the Keeper?” Evelyn asked as the old woman slumped down by the open cell door. She was exhausted, the fatigue written eloquently in the elf’s eyes.

 

“Yes,” replied the woman. “I am Eshara. Thank you, shemlen… We thought ourselves dead. It was only a matter of time.”

 

She glanced at Cullen, kneeling before a frightened elf child. The little girl looked up at him with frightened eyes, until he took out the nug doll they found at the camp. The girl’s eyes widened as she reached out for the doll. The Elven mother smiled and said something in Elvish that Cullen only smiled awkwardly at. Evelyn’s eyes softened, watching him. She turned back to the keeper. “You’re safe now, Keeper. There’s nothing outside that could hurt you.”

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I’m Evelyn, that’s my husband Cullen.”

 

“Evelyn…” Eshara said thoughtfully. “How did you come to be here? And to defeat the guards?”

 

“She fights demons all the time,” Cullen said.

 

“Mahari sent us, Keeper,” Evelyn continued.

 

“Where is Mahari? She escaped-”

 

“She’s safe. She found us. She said you were attacked by darkspawn?”

 

“No, not darkspawn,” Eshara breathed. “Mahari is no mage so she saw what Harralan wanted her to see. They were illusions. We were attacked by our own people, their minds were not their own. That was before they turned fully into those creatures, Mythal have mercy.”

 

Evelyn thought of Flemeth. Would she have mercy? “What turned them, Keeper?” she asked urgently.

 

“A demon, a demon once bound here but set free, Harralan was the first to turn, then the others we sent after him turned as well. The rest of us... he said he would show us how high elves can rise.”

 

“So that's why he kept you alive. He fought with a blacksmith in the village, did he not?”  

 

“Yes, Harralan was always prideful. But this… he would never do this. He is not in his right mind - save him, Evelyn, save him from himself!”

 

Evelyn nodded gravely. “We-”

 

The Keeper took her hand urgently, worry and fear in her eyes. “But you must hurry! He left last night for the village - him and all his creatures!”

 

“What?” Evelyn exclaimed. “All this over a spat?”

 

“It was never a spat for Harralan,” Eshara breathed. “It was a way for him to take revenge for the Exalted Marches, to show the humans their place. He spoke of news that the Elves would rise again and he took his own steps. Please, have mercy - save him!”

 

Evelyn looked down at those eyes. The Keeper plead for the elf who had doomed their clan and murdered people. Evelyn saw no mercy for Harralan. “I will do what I can, whatever it takes to stop him,” she said with complete honesty. If she could find reason to show mercy, she would.

 

“We cannot make it back in time, Evelyn,” Cullen said urgently. “Even if we run it would take us close to half a day and we’d be exhausted.”

 

“We can help,” said Eshara. “Our halla know the trails.”

 

“Halla?” Cullen asked, sounding dubious.

 

“Your halla would bear us to Vintiver?” Evelyn asked the keeper as the old woman tried to stand. Evelyn moved to help the keeper to her feet.

 

“If they must,” Eshara breathed. “Come.”

 

The keeper leaned on Evelyn as they made their way up the stairs from the dungeons. Two silent elf hunters followed the keeper. “Your magic wavers, Da'len,” said the Keeper as they made their way slowly up the stairs.

 

Evelyn glanced at the old keeper who leaned on her arm. The Keeper was a mage, as most were. She supposed it was not surprising that the old elf could sense her power affected by the Anchor’s meltdown. “I would imagine it is,” she said.

 

“For all you’re going to do,” said the Keeper, “let me help you.”

 

“How?”

 

A hand was laid on her stomach, a warmth flowing out like warm wine from within. Evelyn gasped.

 

“Eve!” Cullen caught her by the stump of her arm as she stumbled. Evelyn’s hand began to spark. She stared at it.

 

“There are more ways to shape the Veil than with your staff,” the Keeper said as Evelyn stared at her. “I may be seen as a traitor, but it is the least I could do when you saved our clan, Da’len.”

 

“What did you do?” Evelyn breathed, feeling the magic flowing through her as she did before the Anchor began to melt down.

 

“I calmed the flow of mana in you,” the Keeper said. “How long it lasts depends on your own meditation, but it should help you.”

 

Evelyn closed her hand, the sparks ceasing. It felt like old power she used to wield. “Thank you,” she breathed.

 

They emerged from the keep, two halla were already in the clearing. The creatures’ white fur and majestic antlers glowed in the sunlight like otherworldly beings. “Maker,” Evelyn heard Cullen breathe as the halla approached them, their hooves tapping the flagstones delicately.

 

Evelyn met the beast’s eyes, two dark pools gazing into hers. Something ageless looked back at her through the eyes of the halla. “Ride them,” the keeper said. “Save your people and ours.”

 

The two elven hunters moved to support their keeper as Evelyn went to the halla. She stroked the white fur of its neck. Cullen mounted his easily, unable to hide his excitement from Evelyn. Evelyn smiled to herself and mounted her own halla, cold wind bursting from her feet. The halla looked up at her expectantly. Dog barked uncertainly, staying out of antler’s reach from the halla.

 

“Do not steer, let them run. They will bear you hence,” said Eshara.

 

Evelyn nodded. The halla moved under her, trotting off towards the entrance of the clearing, Cullen’s larger beast riding a little ahead as Dog ran beside, keeping a safe distance.

 

“Are you sure?” she heard a hunter say behind her.

 

“He will understand,” came the keeper’s reply before the halla galloped off.

 


End file.
